life keeps going
with or without our knowing
wish i could be free
be who i wanna be
would give everything i own
for a little garden and a home
but that aint part of my show
gotta go to work
no time for fun
or the beach
or some sun
someday
someday
someday
i will be able to play
in mama earths arms
hopefully on a farm
somebody show me some charms
home is where you make it
never ever fake it
just remember to keep moving
no time for snoozing

music in my soul
hip-hop oldies rocknroll
lets go for a stroll
down by the sea
sets my mind free
sexuality
sensuality
in you and me
let it be
i will do what i need
work for money and not for greed
i will do what i want
its not a lot
just a little fun
feelin the sun
i am full of love and positivity
mixed in with a little hate and negativity
gotta find the balance
moderation
stimulation
gives me some satisfaction
this life will change as i do
gotta keep pushin through
till i reach what i desire
do u wanna go higher?

its funny how other peoples words can describe exactly how u feel......

he is a jerk....dont send me messages he said....i never will again....fuck that....why would i want to send him anything ever....its not like he ever sends me anything or responds....he hates his life he says....well fuck how is that supposed to make me feel?....i am his girlfriend....shouldnt his life be a little good because hes got me....he needs goals.....well i guess im not good enough to inspire him to get some goals....i hate my life too...but at least i have him....or maybe we would be better off not together? i dont know.....this shit is so hard to figure out.....maybe he needs someone younger.....maybe i need someone older.....maybe im just pmsing and super fucking moody....i wish i could just sleep more.....i wish i had my own fucking space with a bed.....

ahhh....love is so sweet.....and can also be such a pain in the ass....why am i so jealous.....why do i keep thinking about....him giving her his number....her trying to kiss him.....now whenever im not with him.....im thinking....is he texting her....is he thinking of her....is she prettier than me....i feel like crying....a lot.....last nite he was so distant....hardly talked to me at all....barely gave me any physical attention....we havent had sex in awhile.....i hate him leaving her myspace messages and not me....i hate being jealous.....i hate my life now....i need a change....a positive change......i wish he was different.....just a little....is that bad.....i dont know anymore.....what i want......or wish.....life is so weird......

love lifts u up
then knocks u on your ass
just when everything seems great
it all falls apart
never again do i want to be in love with my best friend

was really bad....it seemed good....good sex....he fell asleep....then he woke up and told me to get out....i was so hurt....rejected....confused....sad....my last nite there and he didnt want me....fuck i hate my life....so i drank more and texted him so many times and was so immature and dumb and now i feel like shit....i fucking hate myself.....whats wrong with me.....i need some meds....